“Aiyah! I just don’t understand any of this.” You say to yourself in your native Chinese while staring at your grammar book. It shouldn’t be like this; you shouldn’t have any trouble understanding this at all. Only a few weeks ago, you were an English teacher who spoke English natively, and you were a regular foreigner enjoying the expat bubble in Shanghai. You hadn’t even bothered to learn more than a few words of Chinese. That all changed when you made a few too many jokes about how easy English was around your students. One got angry and said, “if it is so easy, then you’ll have no problem learning it yourself!” The student seemed to glow with mysterious energy while she said this, and before you knew what hit you, your life had changed dramatically.

Now you are a young female Chinese woman who barely speaks a word of English. The student who causes you to change told you that if you cannot reach an intermediate English level in two months, the change will be permanent. Hence, you are desperately studying English, but it’s so difficult and frustrating. Worse still, your new sex aches with need when you feel frustrated. How can you study with such distractions? You decide to go find relief for this aching need; you tell yourself that it will be a quick fuck, and then you will study again. But you know this is a lie; sex as a woman is too much fun. In fact, you are starting to think that staying this way wouldn’t be so bad after all.

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